ambassador-of-anguish:

shouldertappingghosts:

If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.

This is perfect.

claydols:

my eyes change colour depending on my swag levels. they are the darkest brown when my swag levels are at a maximum. i have never seen them change

littletipoftheshoelace:

theaspiringauthor:

pipjustice:

rockinzayn:

rileylife:

Apparently you can’t have problems if you’re not a starving African child.

Apparently you can’t have problems if your parents are still together.

Apparently you can’t have problems if you’re a white girl

or if you’re a heterosexual male

Apparently you can’t have problems if you get good grades.

Apparently you can’t have problems unless someone else justifies them.

(Source: ohioisonfiire)

Something tumblr has taught me

fefeferi:

infinite-insanityy:

thesuperwalkingdeadangels:

gingeritt:

sargentwaffle:

natashhha:

“because of reasons” is always a legitimate reason

“because fuck you that’s why” is also acceptable 

“for science” is a good excuse

don’t forget “the stars are not in position” as a perfect reason to not do something

“Not since the accident.” can be the answer to any question.

you guys are leaving out “think of the children” as a way to persuade anybody to do something for you

(Source: im-gonna-wreck-it)

eracist:

I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff

the-absolute-best-posts:

sethymiles:

I like the look Nicki gives like “yup that bitch”