If I was a famous author I would publish a book with ten different endings which all went to print with varying degrees of rarity, but not tell the fans about it so that I could watch their confusion as they disagree over how the story ended. Then when they figured it out I would ‘come clean’, telling them that I had released eleven alternate endings and watch them panic again as they all try to find the last ending.
This is perfect.
my eyes change colour depending on my swag levels. they are the darkest brown when my swag levels are at a maximum. i have never seen them change
Apparently you can’t have problems if you’re not a starving African child.
Apparently you can’t have problems if your parents are still together.
Apparently you can’t have problems if you’re a white girl
or if you’re a heterosexual male
Apparently you can’t have problems if you get good grades.
Apparently you can’t have problems unless someone else justifies them.
“because of reasons” is always a legitimate reason
“because fuck you that’s why” is also acceptable
“for science” is a good excuse
don’t forget “the stars are not in position” as a perfect reason to not do something“Not since the accident.” can be the answer to any question.
you guys are leaving out “think of the children” as a way to persuade anybody to do something for you
I’m really good at stuff until people watch me do that stuff